What balloon boy?

We recently updated our home entertainment system after 21 years. The old RCA, 150 lb. analogue television set is now replaced with a state of the art flatscreen. Now, I've never had the best of anything before, at least for ourselves at home. I've been in people's houses and played with their large screeens, flat screens, Dolby surround sound systems and coveted them. But now, it's mine and I can play with it. I can change the type of sound that emerges, because we got a REALLY GOOD tuner. My Zappa has never sounded so good, and because we are MAC with an Airport Express, I can play internet through the Bose speakers. They are my old BOSE Acoustamass 3 system and still sound better than almost anything around today. To say I'm having fun watching and listening is an understatement. I don't even complain about the cost that Comcast charges for HD. (Actually, I complained about the $7 @ month and we had such a good payment record with them, I got that free for a year.) To see favorite films without commercials has been a treat. I can watch more than just TCM now.

So Friday, after a day and afternoon of watching PSYCH and James Bond in Hi-DEF, I finally watched the news. What were they talking about? Some UFO was flying around and they finally caught it on tape? This big silver thing that everyone was saying went across states and was being chased by all sorts of jets and scrutinized by high tech radar had a boy trapped on board? Well, then finally the talking plooks that pass for journalists finally reported the news. A boy named "Falcon" (cute name) had climbed aboard and was at the mercy of the winds. And for a moment, I stopped being a sceptic and go "How terrible!" I then went, "How big is that thing? Could a helium balloon of that size support any more weight than 30 lbs?" And when they said the whole country was riveted to the media, I shouted "Not me!" And why should I care? I knew it had to be a hoax. I was more wondering when and who would be charged with this usurping of the airwaves and waste of aviation fuel. Planes were delayed by this outrage, people were missing connections all over the planet, and someone was going to pay.

As it has turned out, I was right. The sheriff says he wants to charge the father with more than he can. Oh come on, why? You got fooled, fool. We all did. I got fooled for about 20 seconds. And my job is to fool people. I found it frustrating, but criminal? Maybe in a civil way, to try to recover the millions of dollars and thousands of man hours that were wasted on this crap. Needless to say the amount of news times wasted when they could be talking about the latest atrocities in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, and the horrors of Congress wasting their time (average per hour for a Congressperson to be paid is around $150.) Yes, less than a lawyer, but then aren't most of them lawyers? They take a pay cut to serve? Ack, that's just sour grapes. Do they love their jobs as much as I do mine? I like to think not.

So, what will be the next hoax to hit the air? Michael Jackson's been regrown from his DNA? Brittany Spears told her family and handlers to go to hell? Someone's finally found a way to convert helium to energy by pouring it on the stone of Gretna Green? (How's that for an obscure reference?) Who the plook cares? News should be more than entertainment. The balloon boy belongs on "Extra Entertainment Edition Inside" or whatever the damn gossip show is now. I don't watch them. They don't report the entertainment; they try to BE the entertainment. And boy, do they have entertainment now. But the one thing they won't extract from all who participated in this travesty is the thing they should.

Shame.