Reacting to Reacting

Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Reacting to reacting

Anger is a very tricky thing. If I don't allow myself vent off the heat, I'll have a monster lurking in my heart. If I live in a highly charged emotional state, I alienate people around me who would love to help me but don't know how to. How can you reach out to cat who is pissed off at the world? Or at least the parts of the world that did him wrong.

Going to bed angry is a bad idea. I don't sleep when I'm angry. But anger is a reality. We all get wronged. I'll be wronged again. That really doesn't matter. Sometimes right and wrong is not the best way for me to look at things. Working or not working... that is a much more functional filter for behavior, attitudes, and results. Is this anger (or any emotion, for that matter) working? Not "do I have right to be angry".

We'll always have a right to be angry. I freely give up that right. It doesn't work. I believe that life is about serving others, and it's very difficult to serve others in an angry state. That doesn't mean I won't feel anger... It means that I'll lay my anger down when it doesn't work anymore.

I'm at a very pivotal place in my life. That is a bit misleading because every day is pivotal. Every day I must choose whom I'll serve. I can serve myself, my anger, my contempt. Or. Or not. I can choose to serve the people and God whom I've been called to serve. Every day I must choose whom I'll serve. What I mean is this: my circumstances right now are incredible. I have the opportunity to develop myself, to grow, and to help others do the same thing. I'm uniquely positioned to leverage influence for good. I've been wastefully blessed and entrusted with gifts that I have absolutely no right to. Or I can get pissed and bring everyone else down to a destructive level of self pity. I'm a persuasive guy. I know I'm capable of it.

Like I've mentioned before: man's only inalienable right is choice. (my apologies Dr. Frankl). Well then. I choose life. I choose to serve others. I choose to lay down my rights. It is right that I should have no chance at all; I've blown it many, many times. I have no right to the richly blessed life that I've been given. However, I do choose to take it. I gratefully accept every experience as a gift. All things can be used for good. I believe that. I also choose to give it all away. Freely. Under no compulsion. I choose to give up my life in order to keep it.

Life is a ditch, dig it. Sometimes the same shovel won't work. Sometimes I have to blast with explosives. Sometimes I have to brush away sand with a tooth brush. Sometimes others might have to dig for me. The key lies in the ability to choose. Choose my tools. Choose my friends. Choose the people I trust. Choose life. Choose excellent life.