One Friday

Saturday, August 16th
John, is an interesting guy who loves to stand around and talk cigars. Nice dude. I was enjoying his company when this 50ish year old guy walked in. I tend to give everybody the benefit of the doubt... that they are decent folk. This fellow was not decent. He told an incredibly racist and belligerent joke about the apartment bulding that just burned down here in town. He was laughing about the deaths of innocent civiliians. I was utterly disgusted. I stood my ground, "You think people dying is funny?" I refuse to repeat his language here but he made it very clear that, Yes. People dying is funny. Black people don't deserve to live, etc etc. I shook my head in disgust. He soon resented my intrusion into his small world and articulated that with force and verve.I was frozen. Every fiber in me was taut. He wanted to fight. I could readily oblige and give him a short lesson in respect and discretion. I wanted to badly.My feet didn't move. I chose not to move them.I smiled at him and waved good bye. My fists uncurled easily once he left.Later that night I went out. I hung out at Headbanger's Ball for awhile. It was fun, all your favorite 80s rock covered by some very competent, costumed musicians. Packed house. Everyone there seeking fun and excitement. I had deliberated on even going out that night. Just wasn't feeling up to it. So here I am, walking back to my car. I'd had enough and was ready for bed.I heard a cup shaker on the sidewalk enroute. I sat down and talked with him for awhile. Lee Earl is his name. He expressed his dissappointment with an employer who couldn't pay him after 2 days of work. Lee walks around the city looking for laborer jobs in an effort to avoid cup shaking. Brother was pretty low. Already white knuckled a few 40s that evening.After a few minutes, I left. Then I came back. With two sandwiches. One for me. One for him. We hung out for awhile and ate together. The sandwiches were great. I found that I preferred his company to all the pleasure seekers in the club. I ran across the street and hit an ATM.I helped Lee Earl get up. I defrayed the loss he incurred from his labor that day and the day before. I've spent larger sums on frivolities, but it was 2 days work for him. Work he viewed as lost. He was very concerned about forgetting my name so I gave him my expired military ID. He couldn't believe what happened. I think that's the part of the story that's hardest to swallow. Kindness had become a rare occurence. I think if our positions were reversed, he'd do the same for me. If he didn't, someone else would. I'm not sure what he'd choose. I can only choose the next right thing. I encouraged him to do the same.My hands were open after both incidences. I'm glad my knuckles aren't bruised this morning.