Last Week

I keep a blogger blog... I'm going to try out posting high lights here on SI. Perhaps it will help generate interest in who I am and what I do. We'll see...
I was sick almost every day last week. Sunshine has been beatin' me up. I'm glad it's nearly fall. I need some relief so I can keep producing. There were a few days when my head was pounding so intensely that I could fall asleep.. even after a handful of ibuprofen. Not cool. It's hard not to feel a little discouraged when my body is reacting like that.

I totaled my car last Thursday. The other motorist was very gracious and uninjured. Thank God I have good insurance. I would be in a hard spot otherwise.

I'm really doing pretty well! These events sound totally negative, but only the ego can assign positive or negative connotation to something as impartial as an event. Facts are facts and we can either use them to grow or as excuses why the universe owes us something.

Yesterday, I got a call from my pal, Charles. Preseason opener at Lucas Oil Stadium. Colts v Bills. First pro game in the new home of the Colts. Kind of a big deal. I knew when I saw his missed call that he was going to offer me a ticket. That was the fact, Jack. I hauled tail downtown. I received the call at 720. Game started at 8. Literally 30 seconds after we got to our seats the Colts kicked off. Talk about some great timing.

It appears that I tend to handle my "external" circumstances (relationships with other people, employment, car wreck, divorce, etc etc) pretty well. After a few moments of feeling whatever emotion (positive or negative) that a particular event created, I'm generally able to return to an objective state of mind and determine if I could have changed my behaviors or attitudes to influence a more favorable result.

Dealing with my own ocular inadequacy is much more taxing. Kind of suprising really... I've always thought of emotional pain as more destructive than physical pain. My eye is not going to get better. My body will probably never get used to it. I'll probably always get overexposure headaches. I can be responsible and mitigate the effects, but they'll always be there. Perhaps I should take my own advice and remove the negative connotation from those events when they occur again (which they surely will). I can investigate new ways to diffuse the pain and relax my musculature (which very often becomes very irritated around my neck when I have migraines). I can shift my perspective from handicap to a reminder of my own mortal frailty. I must do these things. My current method is not working. I refuse to be the cause of my own suffering.