Make me Laugh – Show me the FUNNY!

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Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 9:43pm

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 9:09pm

Ouch!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 6:56pm

Pimp Slapped in the classroom.

Man, I never want to go to school overseas!

Boy am I glad we are in America!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 6:46pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwtzYeBlVMY

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 5:10pm

in Moscow (The Muttscow Express)

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STRAY dogs are commuting to and from a city centre on underground trains in search of food scraps.

The clever canines board the Tube each morning. After a hard day scavenging and begging on the streets, they hop back on the train and return to the suburbs where they spend the night. Experts studying the dogs say they even work together to make sure they get off at the right stop - after learning to judge the length of time they need to spend on the train. The mutts choose the quietest carriages at the front and back of the train.

They have also developed tactics to hustle humans into giving them more food on the streets of Moscow .

Scientists believe the phenomenon began after the Soviet Union collapsed in the 1990s, and Russia 's new capitalists moved industrial complexes from the city centre to the suburbs. Dr Andrei Poiarkov, of the Moscow Ecology and Evolution Institute, said: "These complexes were used by homeless dogs as shelters, so the dogs had to move together with their houses. Because the best scavenging for food is in the city centre, the dogs had to learn how to travel on the subway - to get to the centre in the morning, then back home in the evening, just like people."

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Dr. Poiarkov told how the dogs like to play during their daily commute. He said: "They jump on the train seconds before the doors shut, risking their tails getting jammed. They do it for fun. And sometimes they fall asleep and get off at the wrong stop."

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The dogs have learned to use traffic lights to cross the road safely, said Dr Poiarkov. And they use cunning tactics to obtain tasty morsels of shawarma, a kebab-like snack popular in Moscow . They sneak up behind people eating shawarmas - then bark loudly to shock them into dropping their food. With children the dogs "play cute" by putting their heads on youngsters' knees and staring pleadingly into their eyes to win sympathy - and scraps. Dr Poiarkov added: "Dogs are surprisingly good psychologists."

The Moscow mutts are not the first animals to use public transport. In 2006 a Jack Russell in Dunnington, North Yorks , began taking the bus to his local pub in search of sausages. And two years ago passengers in Wolverhampton were stunned when a white cat called Macavity started catching the 331 bus to a fish and chip shop.

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 2:05pm

T.D. Jakes (a well-known preacher) was returning to Texas after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived, there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Dallas . As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know" he said, "I am almost 50 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?" The driver said, "No problem. Have at it..." T.D. gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person." "The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?" The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president." The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that." The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?" The young trooper said, I think its Jesus because he's got T. D. Jakes for a chauffeur!!!!!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 30, 2009 at 1:37am

Megan, Bring it ONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Megan Danielle Morrow on September 30, 2009 at 12:56am

Alright everybody so my the funny, im ready to get tickled by this humor, even if it is off the wall, this is my kind of group thats for sure

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 29, 2009 at 12:01pm

In yesterday's Indy Star:

Let It Out!

A charity called wanting me to donate my clothes to starving people abroad. I said, "If they can fit into my clothes, they aren't starving!"

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on September 29, 2009 at 10:14am

THIS IS A MUST FOR ALL THE MEN OUT THERE THAT LIKE TO BUILD THINGS

New Dewalt Nail Gun

The new nail gun, made by Dewalt can drive a 16D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards.

This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

Just get the wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back and relax with a cold drink. When she has the board in the right place just fire away... With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading.

After a day of fence building with the new Dewalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife
will not ask you to fix or build anything else.

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