Make me Laugh – Show me the FUNNY!

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Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 25, 2009 at 8:07am

Question to Johnny - Was the kid trying to wake the pilots of that Minneapolis flight that went off course by 150 miles?

Comment by Johnny Patrick on October 24, 2009 at 2:50pm

Comment by Johnny Patrick on October 24, 2009 at 2:50pm

Comment by Johnny Patrick on October 24, 2009 at 12:47pm

I am very happy for the return of the Balloon Boy, for a moment I thought Michael Jackson was ordering carry out !

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 23, 2009 at 9:10pm

Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 23, 2009 at 9:08pm

I was walking past the mental hospital the other I day, And all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'



The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on.....



Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!



Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'..!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 23, 2009 at 9:03pm

Why trampolines aren't safe in Minnesota !!

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 23, 2009 at 8:59pm

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 23, 2009 at 8:57pm

Ok, you are asking who in the hell is 'Larry'.

Larry gets home late one night and, Linda , his wife says, 'Where in the hell have you been?

'Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?'

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

'What the hell were you thinking?' She said, shaking her head in disgust. 'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred-dollar bill tattooed on his privates? '

"Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Larry is recovering in room 232 at the hospital.

Comment by Cissi Sherlock on October 21, 2009 at 2:37pm

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. So one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You've done a really good job, and the ranch looks great! You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty. Upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." she said. He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra..." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

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