Did you make your own success? Or did you have help?

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Permalink Reply by Pat Coyle on June 15, 2009 at 11:31am

Nila,
I finally broke under peer pressure and read the book on my trip to CA last week. Well worth it for the anecdotes alone. Gladwell makes some interesting observations...for example, he says that just about anyone who achieves major success has spent 10,000 of hard work / preparation (he uses Bill Gates, the Beattles and others as examples). They didn't get lucky. They worked their tails off.

He also shows how talent, brains and hard work are not necessarily enought..."circumstances" have a huge effect in determining which opportunities will present themselves to people. Gates, for example, would have been less likely to start Microsoft if he hadn't lived near a place like University of Wash which had one of the early mainframe computers...and prior to that if his prep school hadn't made a huge investment in computer technology, which is what got him hooked in the first place...

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Permalink Reply by Erik Deckers on June 15, 2009 at 12:32pm

In other words, Gates worked hard, but he capitalized on the opportunities that others gave him. Someone else gave him mainframe access. Someone else invested in computer technology. Someone else gave him his first job.

If it hadn't been for someone else, Bill Gates would have just been a guy who liked computers.

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Permalink Reply by Nila Nealy on June 15, 2009 at 5:54pm

Well, looks like I'll have to read that book to feed the ideas in the old noggin some more. Thanks for posing the question and giving me a little more info, Pat!

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Permalink Reply by Didier Meyer on June 15, 2009 at 11:04am

If you believe that you choose in which country you were born and from which parents, then yes you made or can make your own success. If not, just by not being born as a girl in Talibanistan or a Jew in 1940 in Germany you got help...
"Making yourself" by definition is absurd. At least with the chicken or the egg one makes the other ;-)
BTW, this doesn't take any credit to those who have determination, work ethic, focus,... it just puts things into perspective and give an EGO reality check. (seems some of us need that)

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Permalink Reply by Marty posch on June 15, 2009 at 11:05am

Well said Didier....i couldnt agree more.

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Permalink Reply by Didier Meyer on June 15, 2009 at 11:27am

"If you do not define things correctly (semantics), then you can make anything whatever you want." -Chris Flener

Self-Made: –adjective
1. having succeeded in life unaided: He is a self-made man.
2. made by oneself.

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Permalink Reply by Erik Deckers on June 15, 2009 at 12:30pm

Louis Pasteur said "Chance favors the prepared mind." I think that our opportunities have to be a combination of both our own preparations as well as that of others.

That is, you're not going to be successful unless you work hard. But all the hard work in the world isn't going to make a difference if you aren't given the opportunities to put that work to use. On the other hand, I have seen people who are merely mediocre at what they do, but are amazingly successful because they network, they make friends, and they don't alienate other people.

The whole idea of the rugged individual rising to the top all by himself/herself is a myth. If you're tops in sales, you got there because other people believed in what you sold, and bought your product. If you're an award-winning actor, you were hired for the good parts, because you're a good actor. You became a good actor, because you learned from other people. If you're a successful politician, you got there because other people believed in you, donated to your campaign, rallied other voters, and even stumped on your behalf. I don't think you'll find anyone who made it to the top without a stitch of help from anyone.

So, you can work hard all you want, but if you're not reaching out to other people, you're just a lonely guy who is good at what he does, but not very successful.

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Permalink Reply by David Mark on June 15, 2009 at 7:19pm

@Erik - Bravo!

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Permalink Reply by Mike Jansen on June 15, 2009 at 12:38pm

I believe success is about attraction. The "self-made" is true in terms of working on yourself and your craft. You then find people are attracted to you for who you are and what you become such as top athlete, real estate agent, product manager, company president, etc.. You become a point of attraction and then others lift you up the success ladder. Mike Jansen

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Permalink Reply by Serina Kelly on June 15, 2009 at 3:15pm

Definitely helped by others - I venture to say that those who think otherwise just don't have a clue how others have influenced and/or helped them.

I would not be where I am today without my team - my family, friends, Rainmakers, and a higher being - not in that order particularly :).

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Permalink Reply by Marty posch on June 15, 2009 at 3:21pm

I agree. I am trying to figure out what would happen if when i won an award in the community last year if i would have said "I had no help from people, it was all about me working hard and taking advantage of opportunities, but it was all about me, because others didnt take advantage of those opportunities...so thank you for the award, it is well deserved, because noone else helped me in this venture, I am a self made man

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Permalink Reply by Faith Wesstrom on June 15, 2009 at 6:35pm

It’s both –you have to work hard at being successful (however you define your own success) and you get help from others/community. As humans, we are sustained by relationships, ties and our positions in the web of human contact. By the same token, it’s also others/society who define what’s “success” is.. and that may not be what the individual see as “success”.
In chapters “the trouble with Geniuses” Chris Langan – who’s a genius but just wasn’t given the tools or got the support from his community – ends up married happily and working and living in rural MO on a horse farm. Gladwell said “Langan seemed content. He had farm animals to take care of….a wife he loved”. I can’t help but think – what if Langan IS content! Perhaps he does consider himself a success in his own view inspite of all that was denied him? Just throwing in my 2 cents.

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